I absolutely love my new friends; I wish I'd found them sooner.

We played Soulmate to determine our husbands for the game of Life. After Carmen Electra Aerobics. THAT is a night.

Life was pretty depressing. I was upset because I had no children. Everyone else had at least 2, but not me. I finally adopted twins, but it just wasn't the same. Carmen had to text Jon halfway through the game and ask him what to name their 5 children. That they had in their beach house. With her $2 million. Must be nice. It was finally decided that I had an affair with one of Jennifer's twin boys (the offspring of her and Aaron), because my alleged husband (Anthony) was completely useless. People kept stealing my Life chips to further my misery. At one point, Brittney stole by $100,000 salary card, and I yelled, "Go on! Take it! Money can't make you happy anyway! I JUST WANT MY OWN KIDS!" Then I had a midlife crisis, and went from being a teacher to being a salesperson.

That is such a depressing game. On the plus side, Sarah had a kid named Tanner Apollo Tacios.

"Jesus wept as he drove to get doughnuts in celebration of his children's graduation."

-Jennifer 1:1